slowly shaking fingertips show;

deja vu moment #543, i need a break from human relationships. to re-examine where they're going, whether i'm hitting the right buttons with people and mull over why some are not quite the way the used to be. it's been an unpleasant struggle to keep up appearences to avoid tipping that delicate balance upon which certain ties now teeter and i'm not quite sure if it's healthy to keep it going like this. could the timing be anymore perfect?

have been plagued by awful doses of reality, with prelims results leading the pack. i have noooo idea how it is humanely possible to land a place in med school with chem grades as pathetic as mine zz. am not sure exactly how i feel about them but it's more annoyance and disgust than disappointment, then again i can't declare that i 'feel like' giving up cos that's an entitlement only when i honestly CANNOT think of anything more i could do to better the situation. ought to smack myself for lack of conviction while i'm on the topic- was talking to fufu and i realized i don't actually HAVE a uni course that i truly felt was worth working for, with all my heart. med school sounds like a convenient option for someone with lousy critical thinking skills like me but i don't even KNOW all the options it presents. what i really want to do doesn't even run anywhere along academic lines. grumble.

alright that was a good rant. i'd be up and running (rather, i HAVE to be) after a few hours of emo-ing. in other announcements, we've hit our big 6 three days ago (and that's a happy thought(: )